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May 21, 2018

Capitol Hill, Washington, DC, USA

“C’mon, Senator. This is ridiculous.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Knall. FBI confirms it.”

“Please don’t tempt me to insult them again. By now they surely realize why I did that in the first place.”

“And why was that?”

“Same reason as most–most!–of the others.”

“And that was…?”

“To get their attention.”

“Now you have it. What are you going to do with it?”

“What else can I do? Tell the truth. Truth is, I don’t know. I don’t know who. I can guess–but that’s all I can do–on the why.”

“So you’re saying that you’re taking it on faith. At least two, maybe more, intelligence agencies are saying that this person…this person you want to find…is dead. You’re saying you don’t believe them. Even though they have both shown us in private session evidence stating that it is true.”

“First, of course I’m saying I don’t believe them. They lie and lie and lie and then get confused and blame the Russians when we don’t believe them…when we catch them in the lies. It’s astounding. It’s like they have no idea what they are doing.

“And, yes, I see the joke there.”

“What joke?”

“Forgive them, for they know not what they do. But before you chastise me for using his name in vain, let me remind you of two things. First, I am under oath. I am. And I take that very, very seriously. Second, ‘I don’t even know the name.’ Yes, Leonard Cohen said it first. And it’s ironic. But it’s also true. I don’t know his name. I don’t know who he works–or worked–for.

“But I don’t have to rely on faith. I know what I saw. Yes, eyesight isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. But this was plain as day.

“Maybe there are two of him. Maybe there are three or even four. How can I know? Secrecy. Deceit. We’re drowning in it.

“But I don’t have to rely on ‘faith’ today. Because he’s sitting right over–”

He pointed. There was an empty chair.

“Ok. He was there. He…must have slipped out. You know, ‘Like a thief in the night.’

“And that will on its face make you angry, too. You think it doesn’t me as well? I’m not a believer, sir. Not really. Not in the way you and lots of other people are. I really, really am not.

“But I’m telling you I’m not. I’m being honest. This is the work of someone else. Not me. I’m just the random moron they chose to use, a patsy. Did I ask for that? Maybe. Certainly didn’t sign up for slavery. Not to the US of A. Not to the CIA. Not to someone whose name I don’t even know.

“But when it comes to the latter, I can fight it all I want…but I’ll lose. I’ve lost that battle so many times. Because that battle was with myself. How can I ever win a battle against me?”

There was some whispering and messages being sent. Some pages scurrying.

“You can check the video. I don’t need to know what you’ll find. I already know. Nothing at all. The video will have malfunctioned, somehow. ‘Miraculously.'”


Fifteen minutes later, the J. Edgar Hoover building, Washington, DC, USA

“Good God. Don’t you people ever stop with the paranoia?”

“I want to understand. So help me to understand.”

“I don’t know. For the ten thousandth time. I have no idea. Deprive me of sleep. Waterboard me. Pull out my goddam fingernails. I’ll just tell you whatever lies it is you want to hear in order to make the pain stop. That’s all you’ll get because that’s all I can possibly tell you.”

“So who do you think it is?”



“Everyone of note.”

“How’s that?”

“Ninety-nine point nine percent of the world population.”

“How so?”

“Everyone CIA ever pissed off. Who’s that? No. Stop. Think. Who is that? The Russians. The Chinese. The EU. Israel. The Middle East. Eastern Europe. The Republicans. The Democrats. Hollywood. Wall Street. England. Ireland. Probably Scotland, too, though I don’t know why unless it’s because climate change is destroying their history. And, why not?, Australia.

“The poor. The rich. The middle class. Everyone, sir.

“You want me to guess who has motive then? Everyone has motive. I only had a few thousand names to go through when I had part–yeah, couldn’t download beyond last names beginning with letters after L or M or something—to go through. You’ve got over seven billion.

“And that’s not my doing. Whoever is behind this is very, very clever. They constantly leave whatever happens open to interpretation. They’ve got plausible deniability out the wazoo.

“So who can that be? Maybe CIA has had enough of CIA. I don’t know. I’m on the outside as I’ve always been. I’m the last person you should be asking, but I always wind up being the first. Why is that?

“Mind control or brain hacking or whatever term you prefer, is a game changer. I don’t even know for sure when I’m in charge and they are. It works that way. You think you’re being you but you’re just on another misguided ‘mission.’ You think I don’t want off this goddam merry-go-round?

“Because I want off really, really badly. I want a normal life. I’ve had enough adventure–which is another word for pain and running through gauntlets–and cloak and dagger.

“But the only solution you–I’m sorry but deep down you know it’s true–and they, and everyone else offers is suicide or going out in a blaze of glory because it’s all so unbearable.

“Well, f*** that. I don’t care if I’m 95 and still waiting for whatshisname to show up. I’ll do that. Fate, God, the Universe, Chance, and everything willing.

“So get you waterboard ready, genius. Let’s make some more lies before we see the truth. Why not? It’s like this goddam thing,” he tapped the microphone, “isn’t on.”


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